Impromptu rant: Sexual abuse & social media [TRIGGER WARNING]

Firstly, please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, I am writing this very late at night and I’ll admit I’m basically rage-typing. Something that only tonight I realise I feel very strongly about, is the relationship between social media and sexual abuse.

To give some background, the catalyst for this post were comments I saw on a video that was shared on Facebook and one comment in particular. The video depicted a princess party actress dressed as Elsa from Frozen talking to the camera as she drove back from a party she had just been at. At this party the high schooler who was playing Ana (Elsa is the owner of the princess party company and therefore Ana was a young employee of hers), was kissed by an old man for a picture without her consent. In the video Elsa describes the man as doing it for a joke but turning his head as the picture was taken so that he was actually kissing her. Elsa was-rightly so-fuming, and said that she had taken the man aside and told him that his behaviour was unacceptable.

Thankfully, many of the comments were from (women) supporting the video and agreeing that it was an awful thing for Ana to go through. Unfortunately, as always, you get the comments (unfortunately all from men on this thread at the time I was reading it) saying things along the lines of “Get over it, it’s a greeting, that’s all. You don’t know his intent so you can’t say it was assault.”

Not only is there so much wrong with that in itself, but it got me thinking about how social media has allowed for these kinds of attitudes to be spread. There’s always the “just trolling” argument, but that’s never an excuse. There are other ways to provoke response from people without saying potentially dangerous things, that if read by the wrong person could be taken out of context very quickly.

I personally believe that social media is an incredibly powerful tool that people take very lightly-I feel the same way about vehicles. Things that we are so used to in our every day life and that at some point in their lives everyone has the opportunity to use and be in control of, that we don’t realise just how dangerous they could be in the wrong hands.

One of the biggest blessings and curses of social media is that it brings people from all over the world together. This can be wonderful if it is used in the right way, unfortunately, this also means that people with dangerous views such as ‘it’s natural for men to want to kiss women’ and ‘you don’t know the intent so you can’t prove anything’ (both comments on the thread that have now been deleted) will always manage to reach at least one individual who agrees with them.

This is the curse. No matter how awful and damaging your views, and regardless of your reason for them, there will always be someone who agrees with you; and the internet and social media especially provide excellent tools for allowing those individuals to meet.

This is where it can get extremely dangerous. Maybe you didn’t phrase your comment correctly, maybe you felt you were just trolling, but I can promise you, there will be someone out there who will read it in a different context to what you had intended and it could end very badly.

If someone who has malicious intent when it comes to sexual contact with other people sees a comment with a number of ‘likes’ and responses of agreement, they may feel justified in their intended behaviour. As a Psychologist who is training to work in Forensic/Investigative Psychology (and therefore with both perpetrators and victims), I can tell you that the only thing more dangerous than someone with cognitive distortions that make them think that sexual assault (usually entitlement-a typically psychopathic trait) is okay; is someone who thinks like that and sees people who they deem to be supportive of their behaviour.

Some people may argue that the glorious thing about the internet is free speech. Although there have been a lot of controversies around internet regulation in western countries lately, it’s generally accepted that you can express whatever opinion you wish on the internet, and this is true.

However, there’s a very important thing to recognise here, and that (and this is very important) is that

there is a difference between free speech and consequence-free speech.


Read that. Now read it again. Got it? Committed it to memory? Good. Let’s continue.

I haven’t even begun to speak about the potential consequences of a sexual assault survivor reading these types of comments. You know what the most commonly reported phrase that extremely traumatised individuals use when talking about their experiences with their therapists? “…but other people have it worse”. They minimise their feelings, they have been made, or taught themselves to feel that their experience is insignificant (see where I’m going with this?).

Imagine someone who has (incredibly bravely) begun speaking for the first time about their experiences, reading those kinds of comments. Someone who already convinced themselves that they are overreacting (and in some cases deserved it because of context incl. what they were wearing/flirting/things they’d said/being inebriated etc.) reading a comment that says “It’s normal,” and “get over it.”

I really can’t begin to suggest any measures that can realistically be taken other than more moderators around with the powers to suspend or delete comments (although Facebook does have a report function), pending appeal by the poster. I would just really, really urge people to take just a second to consider the consequences of what they post online.

Thank you. Rant over.

Tyes by Tara Bombshell Niptyes


Name: Bombshell Nipyes

Retail: $11 (approx. £7.77)

Shop/brand: Tyes by Tara

Type: Niptyes, nipple clamps, accessories

Properties: silk, handcrafted (also available in pink with transparent rings)

First Impressions

The Niptyes came very quickly from the US in very careful and beautiful packaging. The Tyes came in a well-sealed sleek, flat, white box, with pink tissue paper adn the Tyes by Tara logo and business card inside. The packing had obviously had thought put into it and had more of a personal handmade feel than feeling mass produced and impersonal.

When I first picked up the Niptyes, I was unsure as to whether they would be strong enough to hold onto, and stay attached to, my nipples. However, despite being plastic they are very flexible and fit on the nipple very well, without pinching too hard. This was perfect for me as I’m not the biggest fan of tight nipple clamps.

These are definitely for aesthetic purposes, with the bows being made from soft silk and the actual loops being perfect for beginners to the bondage game. I can imagine that these would work perfectly with a lace or see-through bodysuit or shirt, or a cami or bra with peep holes for the nipples.

Like most of the Tyes by Tara pieces, these would not stand being pulled tightly on, and would separate from the nipple easily, once again this isn’t a bad thing if you’re not into nipple pain play and would mean that they would be painless if caught in clothing.


Usually, with this kind of product I’d suggest that it be better to have options of tighter clamps, however, all of the products on the Tyes by Tara website appear to be very delicate and made to accessorise the body rather than to act purely as bondage toys.

Final thoughts

These little Niptyes are fantastic for teasing your partner and if you like nipple play without the pain. Personally, I’d have to wear them with a peephole bra as my breasts are quite large and therefore need supporting, but for those ladies lucky enough to have smaller or perkier breasts these would look divine on their own. They’re definitely worth the price if you’re new to these kinds of accessories and you prefer a more personal touch.

Love Drop UK date night subscription box


Name: Love Drop date night subscription box

Retail: £44.99 (every other month)

Shop/Brand: Love Drop UK

Type: Mixed subscription box

Properties: Includes toy (vibrator), cards, candle, chocolate, samples

First Impressions

I was excited for this box and impressed at how quickly it arrived, 3 days after ordering. It is a large, simple, cardboard box with the Love Drop logo on the top and the tag line “We promise to try whatever arrives” on the front. Upon opening the box I was pleased to find a Marilyn Monroe quote on a large piece of card that stated “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”

I also saw (and became very excited about) a LELO box. The toy included in this first box released at the beginning of December is the Lelo Nea clit vibe. It was a beautiful little object valued at £69 (according to the leaflet in the box and other toy websites), so this already surpassed the cost of the box. A full review of this product is on its way.

Also included in this box were LoveDrop’s own prompt cards, which give couple saucy ideas for fun together including ideas such as ‘You must make a meal for your partner totally in the nude’, and ‘ask your partner 3 sexy things they’d like to try in 2018’. These are great ideas but I felt they could also be used by couples where they ‘cash in’ their favourite one with their partner.

Probably my favourite item in the box (besides the toy) was the candle. The ‘Melt Co. ‘Joy’ candle (RRP £8.95 according to the box leaflet). It smells wonderful, and i was excited to light it. It came in a silver tin and has a large wick for a great glow.

I haven’t tried them yet, but the box also came with LELO condom and lube or ‘body moisturiser’ samples which will compliment the toy perfectly. The small bar of fair-trade chocolate was also a nice touch.


As a first box I can’t think of many improvements, hopefully in time there will be the option for boxes aimed towards homosexual couples, and maybe even a smaller box for single people!

Final thoughts

I was very impressed with this box and it didn’t let me down. The contents are wonderful and the LoveDrop own brand items are beautifully printed and very professional and elegant looking. I have a lot of hope for LoveDropUK for the future and would highly recommend the box to anyone looking for date night ideas or mystery toys! If you’re worried about the price, don’t be-you can cancel your subscription any time and if you keep an eye out on LoveDrop mailing list or social media you’re guaranteed to find a discount code or two!


Happy dating!





DISCLAIMER as always the opinions expressed in these reviews are my own opinion and are not meant to cause harm or slander to any companies or individuals mentioned or associated.

Top 10 Christmas Gifts for your SO

So, it’s the first of December and I can fight it no more, it’s officially *sigh* Christmas. If you’re like me and haven’t started your Christmas shopping yet, hopefully this list will help you determine what you’re going to get your SO (or maybe even yourself-I firmly believe in treating yourself as much as possible).

I’ll present this list in price order from lowest to highest in case you’re poor like me. Most of these items are somewhat novelty, but who has time for a relationship with no sense of humour anyway? I’ve tried to keep this list as gender neutral as possible to appeal to everyone in a relationship. Happy hunting (all of these can be ordered as of today and have postage options that will allow them to arrive before Christmas). All prices correct as of time of writing.




Get your SO some fantastic novelty underwear from warmpresents on Etsy. You can get these beauties for £35.80, guaranteed to keep that willy warm in these cold winter nights (or days) and a great little secret (or not) for you and your significant other at Christmas parties! Women’s underwear start from just £4.36 too! Bargain!





Ever dreamed of being able to rub a penis all over your lips in public and not be arrested and/or sectioned? Well now you can with lip dicks! The lipstick that looks like a very discoloured dick and made for a perfect pout-or even just a perfect present. Don’t have an SO? These lipsticks are also perfect for that single friend who needs that extra little hint…

Get three of these in random shades for £12 from





Brought to you by Ann Summers, these could serve as a small encouraging nudge to your partner who maybe doesn’t appreciate the subtle (or not to subtle) art of foreplay. Or maybe you just want to spice things up and would rather some plastic do that for you. Whatever your situation or orientation this could be a sexy (or just strange) gift for you and your SO (let’s be real, the best gifts are the ones you benefit from too, amiright?). I’ll admit you could end up with some pretty odd Simpsons-eqsue (anyone get that reference?) combinations, but if not sexy, at least it’ll be a laugh.

£5 from //




Who wants a vibrator that talks to you and complains whist you use it? Probably no one. Yet, here it is in all its glory, brought to you by MenKind (who actually sell this as an adult product). No, there is no way this vibe will actually do anything for you even if it is body-safe and usable, because these are akin to the ones you’ll find at Poundland (yes, they do vibrators now). But if you want to insult your partner or have someone for secret Santa who you genuinely hate, this is the perfect gift…I guess…

Get it here for £7.99




Complete with under desk suction cup, niceballs are here to fulfil all your testicle squeezing needs (that you probably didn’t know you had). Partner stressing you out? Save those babymakers for good use later and squeeze these instead! Put them under your desk at work, maybe even in a car (not the driver’s side of course) so your friends and family have something to dramatically grab onto when you go 1mph over the speed limit? The possibilities are endless…

Get them here at for €19.90-29.90 or £17.50-26.50 (approx.)



If you really want to boost your partner’s self-esteem then this bear is the best way to do it (maybe). Probably my favourite product on this list, this bear will let your beloved know that you find them ‘fine’. With the bear being as blunt as you almost definitely are if you’re considering this gift, your SO will always remember who it came from. As if the message itself wasn’t enough, I’m pretty sure anyone would be thrilled to receive a teddy bear too… that’s 2 romantic gestures for the price of 1 (you’re welcome).

Get this bitchin’ bear from for £24.99




If you’re loyal to this blog you’ll know that I’ve written about these before. Love eggs are a great present for couples with a kinkier edge, not only are toys a great gift for your SO (that once again you’ll most likely benefit from), but they’re also fantastic if you enjoy living life on the edge. With the remote in almost every egg on the market working from a minimum distance of 20m, you could even attend those New Year and Christmas parties with this in, and allow your partner to have control over you for the evening!

You can get these on most toy websites and at any sex shop, but you can also get them online here from £24.99+



If you’ve never woken up at night and thought ‘I wish my partner’s penis could glow in the dark’ well you’re probably a functioning human being who thinks rational, un-concerning thoughts. But for those of you who just need something like that in your lives, clone-a-willy have you covered. Simply make a mould of your partners penis (or vagina), wait for it to set, and then fill it with the mixture provided. Or, if glow in the dark dildos aren’t good enough for you, you can get kits that make your SO’s genitals into candles, vibrators, and even chocolate. Perfect for a pair that has everything.

Prices start at £29.99 and kits can be bought from or




Be one of the first to try out a new subscription box from Love Drop UK. Launched only today (1st Dec ’17), Lovedrop is a subscription box that can be bought monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly for £44.99 per box. Each box includes a luxury toy (I’ve been informed that the first box includes something from LELO!) and include condom samples, activity cards, date night ideas and more. At the moment, although most toys can be used on both men and women, the activities in the box are mostly designed for heterosexual couples. But for a little surprise and indulgence every month or so, head on over to to sign up!




So you may be reading this mid-December, but it’s never too late for an advent calendar. With a mixture of toys, bondage gear, and underwear; this calendar from lovehoney will give you and your partner(s) a little surprise or even inspiration every day of December. The best thing about getting one of these now is that when it arrives, you’ll have more then one sexy surprise waiting for you, so what’s the wait? These are currently on offer for £120, that’s £129 OFF the RRP! Bargain! Or, if you want to spend a little less but still have the advent fun, Bondara’s calendar is now just £68.99 (reduced from £138!) Hurry, before they go out of stock!



If these gifts all seem a little ‘vanilla’ to you, and you really want to make a point to your partner, head on over to MeoTeam, the guys who delivery chastity devices, and some of the biggest dildos and ‘crackstuffers’ you’ve ever seen. Go on, show your partner who’s really boss this holiday season 😉



Stay sexy. 



Disclaimer: As always products shown and descriptions are my opinion and are not intended to harm the company, manufacturer or individual associated. It’s not my fault if your partner doesn’t like the products, most of these are novelty and should be taken in jest. All images from the corresponding websites (plz don’t sue me).


Climax Rechargeable Power Wand



Name: Climax Rechargeable Power Wand

Retail: £60

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers (CLIMAX technology)

Type: wand, vibrator, external, massager

Properties: 11.5inches (tip to end of handle), USB charging, 8 speeds, 20 vibration patterns

First Impressions

Wow. So…

I wasn’t sure about this product, I’ve wanted a wand for a while but only because I thought the hype was probably a little overstated, but even though I hate to admit this, I was wrong.

If you’ve read some of my other posts you’ll know that I never have much luck with any clit stim that isn’t pointed or specifically targeted-this was the main source of my skepticism, but with the insane power this wand provides it doesn’t need to be targeted. I’m not sure how they’ve done it, but this wand is truly magic, it manages to target vibrations without creating such a general tickle of buzz elsewhere. I’m not sure what kind of black magic witchcraft was used to make this, but this is my kind of witch doctor.

Speaking of doctors (long stretch, I know) this is a fantastic massager too. Any aches or pains even deep in your back-this thing will work. I sleep in the strangest positions (and with a 5 foot teddy instead of pillows) so as you can imagine I wake up a lot with aches or pull muscles in my back and stomach the second I sit up. I also (tentatively-and PLEASE know what you’re doing before you do this) used it on my neck. I would never usually advise using any powerful vibrations on your head or neck, because in case you were unaware, those nerves and that big squishy organ of yours are both quite important for you know…living. But in short, mild (if there’s such thing with this wand) bursts on the muscles around that area, it was fantastic for neck pain and tension headaches.

Another use I found for this beauty was helping with cramps. I get the WORST cramps when I’m menstruating, sometimes I can’t move at all (shout out to mild PCOS), and as my vagina has been hating me this month (yes, month) bleeding on and off; I felt almost as if I were cheating death by picking up my wand and magically making those cramps disappear.

This wand made another claim, that I was also skeptical of, that the vibrations are targeted away from the handle. This is an issue with toys with handles, in that it can make the holder’s hand go numb very quickly, which isn’t useful for you or your partner (if you even need one after purchasing this). Surprisingly, it works very well, my hand didn’t go numb once from holding the handle, but did so very quickly when I held the head.


The ONLY thing I’ll say is that the plastic on the handle does feel a little cheap, I understand that the head is weighty but even covering the handle with a silicone or faux leather finish would have made it look a little less cheap.

Final thoughts

I understand that £60 is a lot, and you can get cheaper wands on the market, but this is something that I promise you will benefit from having in your collection. Also, once you’ve bought it, you don’t have to spend extra on expensive batteries, which is an issue with a lot of toys and the joy of rechargeable ones!

I would absolutely recommend it to anyone even just as a massager/for cramps if not for sexual pleasure. To the beautiful Ann Summers employee who told me this was a good choice (haven’t asked permission to name her), I concede to your wisdom and apologise for ever being skeptical *bows*.


DISCLAIMER as always these reviews are my own personal opinion and are not meant to harm or reflect on any company, manufacturer, or individual mentioned or associated. All images from

Stay sexy.

ONE condoms and Oasis lube

✯✯✯✯ (4 stars)


Retail: Mixed Pleasures Condoms (12 pack): £9.99, OASIS lube (100ml): £7.99

Brand: ONE (available on the website or at Superdrug)

First Impressions 

I’ll begin this by saying that I am a self-professed condom and lube hater. I have always found condoms physically irritating (despite not having a latex allergy) and I hate the stickiness and residue of some lubes, so I’m surprised that I’m giving a post like this 4 stars.

I based my rating on a number of variables, and was desperately trying to not let my general hatred for these products influence my opinion. Luckily, that wasn’t a problem because I was pleasantly surprised!

The pack of condoms I had were the Mixed Pleasures, I was especially excited about this as it included a GLOW IN THE DARK one, which made my week. Different types included were: Hyperthin, Flavor Waves, Super Studs, Pleasure Dome, Tantric Pleasures, and Glowing Pleasures.

As always the ONE condom brand are fantastic at designing their packets, the solid colour on the back is vibrant and represents the condom inside, and on the front are suggestions of the type, EG. the Glowing ones have a lighthouse with green light on one, and a green electrical style on the other. This already sets it apart from other brands. The packet also invites you to submit your own designs on the website, which I think is a wonderful touch.

So now onto the condoms themselves. The glow in the dark one really does glow, it’s neon green and takes only a small amount of light charging to retain a really bright glow that takes a LONG time to fade. Pretty much all of them achieve what they claim, the Vanish feels super thin and although it doesn’t feel the same as not using on at all, it’s the closest you’re probably going to get. Despite the thin latex I didn’t feel as if it would break easily, which is obviously the ideal for condoms!

The only one I was slightly disappointment by was the Tantric Pleasures, I was really exited for the tribal pattern and wondered how it would feel, but honestly I couldn’t feel it at all. Obviously the idea for condoms is to be thin but I feel as if condoms with a specific pattern should be thick enough on the design for it to be felt, otherwise it just feels like a novelty.

The lube: The one thing that I was looking for in this was any potential residue or stickiness from the lube. One thing I hate after sex is feeling like you have to shower to get the lube off, this is a problem that I’ve even had with water based lubes before, as this one was. However, again, I was pleasantly surprised, There was no stickiness, it worked perfectly with the condoms (which aren’t over lubricated themselves so don’t make a mess when you’re putting them on) and there was no residue. I feel as if this really helped this brand get the 4 star rating, as I was thrilled that I could finally use lube without being preoccupied by the mess it would inevitably leave.

It also has a wonderful smooth texture, and doesn’t feel particularly slimy or gross which some lubes do-I’m not a squeamish person but some are awful. I was incredibly pleased with this lube and it is definitely my new go-to.


The only issues I found were the feel of the Tantric Pleasures one (or lack thereof) and as much as I love the packaging, as it’s round there’s a part of me that’s afraid (irrationally so) of tearing into the condom as I open the packet. I’m not sure if the pleasure dome design actually made any difference, I didn’t feel any, but that could be down to me not using condoms enough to compare the specifics.

Final thoughts

Overall, I was thrilled with this brand, the packaging is great on both the condoms and lube, it doesn’t feel cheap despite being cheaper than most other brands on the market (WHY ARE CONDOMS SO EXPENSIVE?!) and I’m just thrilled at the prospect of not having to dread the next time I need to use a condom or lube!



DISCLAIMER as always the opinions expressed in these reviews are my personal opinion and not intended to harm the company or individuals mentioned or associated. Pictures are my own or from

Bunny Banger

✯ (1 star)


Name: Bunny Banger

Retail: £20

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers (Cheap Thrills)

Type: Mini rabbit vibrator/clit stim

Properties: One speed, 3 insertable inches

First Impressions

I really wanted to love this, truly, I did. It could have been an absolute game changer, but unfortunately, it really wasn’t. The box is simple which is in keeping with the ‘cheap thrills’ range, the ‘basics’ of Ann Summers. the toy itself is pretty small, and although it takes two AAA batteries, it’s just not as powerful as it claims.

It has one setting which again is disappointing and instead of having a base that you twist (and therefore would have some level of control over the generous ONE setting, it’s a simple, difficult to switch, plastic on/off button; reminiscent of old MacDonalds Happy Meal toys (before they got really crap).

Not only is this toy lacking in power, but the motor has no effect on the ears, they’re just kind of there. There’s no vibration in them whatsoever, and it feels like this product may have been more successful without them-at least then it would have a slightly better insertable length.

The thing I hated most, however, was the texture. Ann Summers have, in recent years, been moving into the age of soft silicone-which is wonderful, this bunny, however, seems to be stuck back in the dark ages. It’s made out of a very cheap feeling rubbery material, which creates a huge amount of friction (which is the thing you least want on a sex toy). This means that you have no choice but to use it with lots of lube which feels like a waste for a toy with 3 inches (generous) of insertable length. I couldn’t even store the toy back in its box because I couldn’t slide it down against the cardboard- that’s how bad it is. Instead, I had to wrap it in the leaflet it came with just to get it to slide back into the box.

If I were trying to be nice, I’d argue that the rubbery texture makes it flexible, but for a toy this small that’s a completely pointless feature.


Go back in time and sack the (most likely, man) who designed this?

But seriously, better texture/material eg soft silicone, more than one setting or double motor so that the ears move too, stronger power, and slightly longer.

Final thoughts

I’m aware that this review has been incredibly scathing, and for that, I make no apologies. For £20 this toy just isn’t worth it. Take that £20 and I don’t know-hire the cheapest male prostitute you can find(?)-I promise it won’t be worse than this. The material is awful and it honestly feels like no thought had gone into it, maybe for £5 or as a free gift with another purchase? I wouldn’t recommend this at all.



DISCLAIMER: As always the views expressed on this blog are my personal opinions and are not intended to harm the companies, manufacturers, or individuals affiliated with this product. All images are from