Month: November 2017

✯✯✯✯✯

Info

Name: Climax Rechargeable Power Wand

Retail: £60

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers (CLIMAX technology)

Type: wand, vibrator, external, massager

Properties: 11.5inches (tip to end of handle), USB charging, 8 speeds, 20 vibration patterns

First Impressions

Wow. So…

I wasn’t sure about this product, I’ve wanted a wand for a while but only because I thought the hype was probably a little overstated, but even though I hate to admit this, I was wrong.

If you’ve read some of my other posts you’ll know that I never have much luck with any clit stim that isn’t pointed or specifically targeted-this was the main source of my skepticism, but with the insane power this wand provides it doesn’t need to be targeted. I’m not sure how they’ve done it, but this wand is truly magic, it manages to target vibrations without creating such a general tickle of buzz elsewhere. I’m not sure what kind of black magic witchcraft was used to make this, but this is my kind of witch doctor.

Speaking of doctors (long stretch, I know) this is a fantastic massager too. Any aches or pains even deep in your back-this thing will work. I sleep in the strangest positions (and with a 5 foot teddy instead of pillows) so as you can imagine I wake up a lot with aches or pull muscles in my back and stomach the second I sit up. I also (tentatively-and PLEASE know what you’re doing before you do this) used it on my neck. I would never usually advise using any powerful vibrations on your head or neck, because in case you were unaware, those nerves and that big squishy organ of yours are both quite important for you know…living. But in short, mild (if there’s such thing with this wand) bursts on the muscles around that area, it was fantastic for neck pain and tension headaches.

Another use I found for this beauty was helping with cramps. I get the WORST cramps when I’m menstruating, sometimes I can’t move at all (shout out to mild PCOS), and as my vagina has been hating me this month (yes, month) bleeding on and off; I felt almost as if I were cheating death by picking up my wand and magically making those cramps disappear.

This wand made another claim, that I was also skeptical of, that the vibrations are targeted away from the handle. This is an issue with toys with handles, in that it can make the holder’s hand go numb very quickly, which isn’t useful for you or your partner (if you even need one after purchasing this). Surprisingly, it works very well, my hand didn’t go numb once from holding the handle, but did so very quickly when I held the head.

Improvements

The ONLY thing I’ll say is that the plastic on the handle does feel a little cheap, I understand that the head is weighty but even covering the handle with a silicone or faux leather finish would have made it look a little less cheap.

Final thoughts

I understand that £60 is a lot, and you can get cheaper wands on the market, but this is something that I promise you will benefit from having in your collection. Also, once you’ve bought it, you don’t have to spend extra on expensive batteries, which is an issue with a lot of toys and the joy of rechargeable ones!

I would absolutely recommend it to anyone even just as a massager/for cramps if not for sexual pleasure. To the beautiful Ann Summers employee who told me this was a good choice (haven’t asked permission to name her), I concede to your wisdom and apologise for ever being skeptical *bows*.

 

DISCLAIMER as always these reviews are my own personal opinion and are not meant to harm or reflect on any company, manufacturer, or individual mentioned or associated. All images from http://www.annsummers.com

Stay sexy.

✯✯✯✯ (4 stars)

Name:

Retail: Mixed Pleasures Condoms (12 pack): £9.99, OASIS lube (100ml): £7.99

Brand: ONE (available on the website http://www.onecondoms.co.uk or at Superdrug)

First Impressions 

I’ll begin this by saying that I am a self-professed condom and lube hater. I have always found condoms physically irritating (despite not having a latex allergy) and I hate the stickiness and residue of some lubes, so I’m surprised that I’m giving a post like this 4 stars.

I based my rating on a number of variables, and was desperately trying to not let my general hatred for these products influence my opinion. Luckily, that wasn’t a problem because I was pleasantly surprised!

The pack of condoms I had were the Mixed Pleasures, I was especially excited about this as it included a GLOW IN THE DARK one, which made my week. Different types included were: Hyperthin, Flavor Waves, Super Studs, Pleasure Dome, Tantric Pleasures, and Glowing Pleasures.

As always the ONE condom brand are fantastic at designing their packets, the solid colour on the back is vibrant and represents the condom inside, and on the front are suggestions of the type, EG. the Glowing ones have a lighthouse with green light on one, and a green electrical style on the other. This already sets it apart from other brands. The packet also invites you to submit your own designs on the website, which I think is a wonderful touch.

So now onto the condoms themselves. The glow in the dark one really does glow, it’s neon green and takes only a small amount of light charging to retain a really bright glow that takes a LONG time to fade. Pretty much all of them achieve what they claim, the Vanish feels super thin and although it doesn’t feel the same as not using on at all, it’s the closest you’re probably going to get. Despite the thin latex I didn’t feel as if it would break easily, which is obviously the ideal for condoms!

The only one I was slightly disappointment by was the Tantric Pleasures, I was really exited for the tribal pattern and wondered how it would feel, but honestly I couldn’t feel it at all. Obviously the idea for condoms is to be thin but I feel as if condoms with a specific pattern should be thick enough on the design for it to be felt, otherwise it just feels like a novelty.

The lube: The one thing that I was looking for in this was any potential residue or stickiness from the lube. One thing I hate after sex is feeling like you have to shower to get the lube off, this is a problem that I’ve even had with water based lubes before, as this one was. However, again, I was pleasantly surprised, There was no stickiness, it worked perfectly with the condoms (which aren’t over lubricated themselves so don’t make a mess when you’re putting them on) and there was no residue. I feel as if this really helped this brand get the 4 star rating, as I was thrilled that I could finally use lube without being preoccupied by the mess it would inevitably leave.

It also has a wonderful smooth texture, and doesn’t feel particularly slimy or gross which some lubes do-I’m not a squeamish person but some are awful. I was incredibly pleased with this lube and it is definitely my new go-to.

Improvements

The only issues I found were the feel of the Tantric Pleasures one (or lack thereof) and as much as I love the packaging, as it’s round there’s a part of me that’s afraid (irrationally so) of tearing into the condom as I open the packet. I’m not sure if the pleasure dome design actually made any difference, I didn’t feel any, but that could be down to me not using condoms enough to compare the specifics.

Final thoughts

Overall, I was thrilled with this brand, the packaging is great on both the condoms and lube, it doesn’t feel cheap despite being cheaper than most other brands on the market (WHY ARE CONDOMS SO EXPENSIVE?!) and I’m just thrilled at the prospect of not having to dread the next time I need to use a condom or lube!

 

 

DISCLAIMER as always the opinions expressed in these reviews are my personal opinion and not intended to harm the company or individuals mentioned or associated. Pictures are my own or from http://www.onecondoms.co.uk

✯ (1 star)

Info

Name: Bunny Banger

Retail: £20

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers (Cheap Thrills)

Type: Mini rabbit vibrator/clit stim

Properties: One speed, 3 insertable inches

First Impressions

I really wanted to love this, truly, I did. It could have been an absolute game changer, but unfortunately, it really wasn’t. The box is simple which is in keeping with the ‘cheap thrills’ range, the ‘basics’ of Ann Summers. the toy itself is pretty small, and although it takes two AAA batteries, it’s just not as powerful as it claims.

It has one setting which again is disappointing and instead of having a base that you twist (and therefore would have some level of control over the generous ONE setting, it’s a simple, difficult to switch, plastic on/off button; reminiscent of old MacDonalds Happy Meal toys (before they got really crap).

Not only is this toy lacking in power, but the motor has no effect on the ears, they’re just kind of there. There’s no vibration in them whatsoever, and it feels like this product may have been more successful without them-at least then it would have a slightly better insertable length.

The thing I hated most, however, was the texture. Ann Summers have, in recent years, been moving into the age of soft silicone-which is wonderful, this bunny, however, seems to be stuck back in the dark ages. It’s made out of a very cheap feeling rubbery material, which creates a huge amount of friction (which is the thing you least want on a sex toy). This means that you have no choice but to use it with lots of lube which feels like a waste for a toy with 3 inches (generous) of insertable length. I couldn’t even store the toy back in its box because I couldn’t slide it down against the cardboard- that’s how bad it is. Instead, I had to wrap it in the leaflet it came with just to get it to slide back into the box.

If I were trying to be nice, I’d argue that the rubbery texture makes it flexible, but for a toy this small that’s a completely pointless feature.

Improvements

Go back in time and sack the (most likely, man) who designed this?

But seriously, better texture/material eg soft silicone, more than one setting or double motor so that the ears move too, stronger power, and slightly longer.

Final thoughts

I’m aware that this review has been incredibly scathing, and for that, I make no apologies. For £20 this toy just isn’t worth it. Take that £20 and I don’t know-hire the cheapest male prostitute you can find(?)-I promise it won’t be worse than this. The material is awful and it honestly feels like no thought had gone into it, maybe for £5 or as a free gift with another purchase? I wouldn’t recommend this at all.

 

 

DISCLAIMER: As always the views expressed on this blog are my personal opinions and are not intended to harm the companies, manufacturers, or individuals affiliated with this product. All images are from http://www.annsummers.com