Let’s talk about sexual partners…

How many sexual partners is average and why do we care?

Let’s start off by looking at some statistics: The CDC (Centres for Disease Control and Prevention) surveyed Men and Women between the ages of 25 and 44 (considered ‘sexually experienced’) about the number of sexual partners they have had in a lifetime. The CDC defined sexual partner as someone they’ve had any sexual contact with: vaginally, orally, or anally.

The numbers between 2002 and 2015 seemed to remain pretty consistent:

2002                                 2006-2010                     2011-2015

Men                  6.7                                     6.0                                  6.1

Women            3.8                                     3.9                                  4.2

A couple of things to note: The first is that the survey relied on self-reported numbers, which are obviously subject to a number of biases (especially social). The second is that as expected, men’s responses were higher than women’s’.

This test also did not account for anyone under the age of 25, which (from what I’ve seen at University) could greatly skew the averages. The CDC did, however, conduct the same research using participants aged 15+ but they were looking at how many people in that age range have had more than 4 sexual partners in the last 12 months. These 1-year averages were as follows:

                              2002                                2006-2010                     2011-2015

Men                     4.6%                                 3.9%                               4%

Women              2.4%                                 1.8%                                1.7%

Once again, we see that the women’s numbers are significantly lower than the men’s, and the percentage drops for both between 2002 and 2006. It’s up to you to decide how reliable you think these figures are, but just to verify, as I type this I have my own sexual partners survey being circulated which you can take at the bottom of this article…

So, now that the statistics are out of the way, let’s talk taboo. I’m sure we’ve all observed, at some point in our lives, men being praised for the number of sexual partners, and women being degraded for the number of theirs. In fact, you hear those stories of fathers taking their sons to brothels to lose their virginity, but what’s the stereotypical response when it comes to fathers and their daughters? Probably something along the lines of “don’t touch her”.

It seems as if from the beginning there’s already this strong gender divide, release the boys and protect the girls. Of course, in neither theory or practise, would that work.

Why do people care?

There are two issues that need addressing here, one is more specific to sex, the other is a much larger problem. Firstly, it’s okay to ask and be wary about how many sexual partners someone has had, quite simply, because the more partners someone has had, the more chance that they’ve come into contact with someone who has STDs.

However, a solution to asking how many partners is to simply ask whether they use protection, and when the last time they were tested was, another solution is to ensure that you get tested yourself. I have friends who get tested every month, regardless of how many people they have slept with. It’s good practice, and proper examinations can also help to detect early signs of larger problems such as cervical, testicular, bowel, and urinary tract infections and cancers. Apart from this, there seems to be no other reason to ever ask how many sexual partners someone has had.

The wider problem: Sex is unfortunately still a taboo. Although shops like Ann Summers are bringing sex and sexual acceptance onto our high streets, we’re still a long way from sexual freedom, sex free from judgement. I must admit, I was concerned when starting this blog as to whether it would affect my career prospects if any potential interviewers/employers saw it. It’s still a concern of mine, but why should it be? Sex is a normal part of life, it’s procreation and pleasure-why should we be afraid of pleasure?

Unfortunately, as the act of sex itself is still somewhat of a taboo, when you have many partners, words like ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ are tossed around freely and used to degrade. So what’s the solution? Do we stop using these words, or do we take the negative power away from them? What would happen if we began to use these words as descriptors rather than insults? Is calling a prostitute a whore insulting?

The impact of society and environment seem to be the driving factors in sex-shame and sex-shaming, babies are not born feeling ashamed. Like intolerance, shame is something that is taught- we can’t help what turns us on, and what makes us bored. If having multiple partners keeps sex exciting for you then don’t be ashamed of it. In fact, being unashamed and able to discuss your sexual preferences is a large part of the whole social paradigm of sex.

One of the key parts of sex, is consent; if you can’t discuss what you like with people then how will you ever give your informed consent? This extends to your number of sexual partners, if you do not wish to have a monogamous relationship then don’t be afraid to let people know, not only does it save awkward situations but hopefully it’ll avoid people getting hurt.

Overall, whether your figures are average, below or above, or whether you believe in the accuracy of the averages at all, the take away from this should be that any shame you feel over your partners is learned, and as such, it can be unlearned. Be willing to share, be open, and be receptive and tolerant and hopefully one day, we’ll just be pleased that people have found what works for them.


Please click this link to take the anonymous survey: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/96BLLH3


Current survey results (as of 16:00, 13/10/17)

  • 60% of those surveyed claim to have had more than 9 sexual partners in their lifetime
  • Out of those 60%, over two-thirds claim to have had more than 25 sexual partners
  • The majority of respondents identify as female
  • The more sexual partners’ respondents have had, the more likely they are to be comfortable with disclosing that number
  • 100% of respondents believe that people are judged negatively on the number of sexual partners they have had.

*Results will be systematically updated.

Signature Remote Control Love Egg

✯✯✯ (3 stars)


Name: Signature Remote Control Love Egg

Retail: £35

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers

Type: Remote controlled vibrator

Properties: waterproof, internal use, 10 speeds/pulses, soft silicone

First impressions

From the outset, I knew that this product might not do too much for me, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s not necessarily the actual vibe itself that you would buy a love egg for; it’s much more for the experience. This means that my relationship to love eggs is a complicated one, as usual, the larger shape and general ‘buzz’ doesn’t do much for me sexually, but being able to have a remote that you can give to your partner is what really elevates this product. Also, the shape and size make it comfortable to wear out in public (if you want to be really naughty) which of course adds another layer of excitement!

The soft silicone, as usual, is wonderful to touch, and although I admit the egg does look scarily big when you first take it out of the packet, it’s a good size for insertion without causing discomfort if you’re not necessarily in the ‘mood’ at the time. The attached loop isn’t distracting when it’s hanging out and makes for easy removal.

The vibration speeds are fun to play around with but can be a bit of a surprise if your partner loses track of which setting they’ve put it on. As they can’t feel what’s happening, you have to really trust them to be nice!


Honestly, due to the nature of the product, I wouldn’t say there are many improvements, There is potential for a change in shape, and maybe some texture to be added, but as it’s made for prolonged wear, this may become uncomfortable after a while

Final thoughts

If you don’t have a love egg in your collection already-add one, especially if you have a naughty partner! Even if the actual vibrations don’t do much for you, I promise the thought of having someone else being in complete control will-especially if you dare to take it outside!

DISCLAIMER: As always, the opinions expressed in this post are my personal opinions and are not meant to cause harm or offence to the mentioned companies or products, or those who enjoy using them.

*All images from http://www.annsummers.com

Moregasm Move Clit Stim Vibrator

✯✯ ( 2 Stars)


Name: Moregasm Move Clit Stim Vibrator

Retail: £50

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers/Rampant Rabbit

Type: Clit stim vibrator

Properties: silicone, rechargeable, rotating, vibrating, external use, 3 vibe/pulse settings

First impressions

I was excited to finally own this product, I had seen it on a number of occasions and loved the fact that the head rotated. I had high hopes, as other products this large haven’t done anything for me before, but the individual nodes on the head made me hopeful that it would produce some response. Unfortunately, I was disappointed.

The movement alone is great-it’s very well engineered, unfortunately, it’s not strong enough to move when pressed against you with any amount of pressure, meaning that to get the benefit of the movement, you have to hold it very lightly and above your clit, which ruins the point of the product. Once I had found a good positioning to allow for the functions as well as getting some sensation, I found that it really did nothing for me. It was very difficult to angle it right and even then it hit too many areas for it to be at all intense.

The fact that it’s rechargeable is great-I know I’ve complained about awkward batteries before, and batteries, as they run out, have a tendency to ruin the intensity of products. It’s also a good shape and size-not too big, and when used with lube it produces slightly more feeling.


A major improvement for this product would be to have the nodes in the middle significantly longer so they can reach the clit whilst the shorter ones around the edge produce a general buss around the surrounding nerve endings.

Final thoughts

I can’t help thinking that this product might be great if marketed as a massager, I can imagine that it would work well on other erogenous areas such as nipples (especially when paired with lube) but as it’s marketed as a clit stim it gets 2 stars-just. For the price, I’d really expect more.


DISCLAIMER: As always, the opinions expressed in this post are my personal opinions and are not meant to cause harm or offence to the mentioned companies or products, or those who enjoy using them.

*All images from http://www.annsummers.com

Let’s talk about breasts…

Just like genitals, breasts are different and unique for everyone! Your breasts and the tissue inside them change consistently throughout your life due to SO many factors, they also play a huge role in feeding babies, but there’s no shame if you never had the chance/ability to do that, everyone’s different and we should embrace it! Not all cultures see breasts as anything sexual, in my opinion, I love looking at breasts (especially my own)-I think they’re a beautiful body part and personally believe that sexualisation of breasts is ultimately down to context.

First thing to acknowledge: there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ breast

Generally, your breasts suit your body, but there are several distinct types of breast:

  1. Saggy
  2. Unbalanced (hypoplastic)
  3. Tuberous
  4. Small
  5. Large
  6. Nipple pointed out
  7. Teardrop

Obviously, there are different types and terms and we could create a huge list of them all, but most people will fall into one of these categories. Personally, and this was very difficult for me to come to terms with-especially as a teenager in school changing rooms and when I became sexually active-my breasts are asymmetrical (Hypoplastic) but you know what-no one cares! Boobs are boobs and that’s enough for most people!

Why don’t I have cleavage? Not everyone with big breasts has cleavage-I don’t unless I’m wearing a special bra! This is because I have a wide rib cage, so my breasts sit apart from one another, luckily, they’re quite large and very round, which means that with the right bra they can look really good! I’ve seen a lot of these cleavage-enhancing bras around lately, with lace-up fronts. Unfortunately, these don’t really work for larger breasts or wide rib cages, and just serve to pull the very tips of your breasts together, often making them look saggier than they are-you could achieve the same effect with duct tape! A good, supportive bra should do the trick which brings me onto my next point:

GET MEASURED. If I, one of the most self-conscious people on the planet about my breasts (unnecessarily) can get measured then you can! Go every few months if you have to and always get measured again when going to a new shop. I’m 36DD in some stored, 38D in others, and even 40D in some! It’s crazy how much it changes, also make sure you get the person measuring to write down the exact measurements in inches/cm so you know for shopping online. Never be ashamed-they’ve seen it all before-and bras are expensive! Can’t be buying ones that aren’t perfect!

Finally, and I must stress this point-frequently check your breasts. Check for lumps and know your breasts, feel free to study them-be aware of moles, skin and vein anomalies, where and what colour your nipples are, and generally how big your cup size is. If you think you notice a difference, go to your GP, it’s that simple! Instead of going through it myself, I’ve put infographics from CoppaFeel and AXA PPP Healthcare below. Stay safe and stay sexy!

Rocks Off Bullet

✯✯✯✯✯ (5 stars)


Name: Rocks Off Bullet Vibrator

Retail: £10-£12.99

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers, Love Honey/Rocks Off

Type: Bullet vibe/clit stim

Properties:  3 or 7 speed (dependant on store and batch)

First impressions

It’s actually a bullet. Honestly, I hate when manufacturers call toys ‘bullets’ when really they’re just thick, rounded pill-shaped things. Not sure if any of those manufacturers have actually ever seen a bullet but I can promise you, they’re not round! So my first impression of this bullet was something along the lines of ‘damn, it’s actually a bullet shape’, which made me immediately put it in my basket. As it may be apparent from other posts, I much prefer directional toys, I don’t think I lack sensitivity, I just don’t get anything out of toys that target more than one spot. This is definitely a clit stim, the point is small but not sharp and is perfect size (unless your clit is the size of a ten pence piece which all the other ‘bullet’ manufacturers seem to think they are [Disclaimer: all women are different, if you have a massive clit I envy you-no shade!])

Anyway, back to the actual product…WOW. My first experience with this bullet and I considered just giving up on actual sex/foreplay with human beings. I haven’t yet met a man who can do what this bullet can! (Not sure if that’s more a comment on my taste in men or this toy…) The speed changes are amazing-if you want to tease yourself/a partner, but as someone with zero self-control I whacked it up to the max straight away.

The bullet itself is super simple to use, with one button which is easy to click (but not so easy you press it by accident) to change the settings, and as usual hold down that one button to turn it off-simple.


There are only two small drawbacks that I can think of for this product, one is the battery size and the other is the intensity. The batteries are hard to come by in most shops, it doesn’t take AAA like most toys, instead, it takes N-type batteries, which are smaller and less common.

The other issue isn’t specific to this product and is expected, in that the intensity greatly decreases over time as the battery wears down. The batteries last for ages but you’ll definitely notice a difference once they’re replaced!

Final thoughts

Get this bullet. Seriously. It’s perfect as a starter toy or for sex toy veterans, you can use it on men and women and use it on yourself or have someone else use it on you. It’s small and discreet and can fit easily in a handbag or lipstick case. Worth every penny.

DISCLAIMER: As always, the opinions expressed in this post are my personal opinions and are not meant to cause harm or offence to the mentioned companies or products, or those who enjoy using them.

*All images from http://www.annsummers.com or https://www.lovehoney.co.uk

Rampant Rabbit: The Little Slim One

✯✯✯✯✯ (5 stars)


Name: Rampant Rabbit: The Little Slim One

Retail: £37

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers

Type: Rabbit vibrator

Properties: 7 functions in ears, 3 in shaft, internal and external use, battery powered

First impressions

From the moment I first got this vibe I knew it was going to be one of my favourites. The shape is great, the classic Ann Summers soft silicone mixed with the transparent section looked and felt great. Due to the slim size, it’s easy to insert and works well with lube. The metal balls in the middle section allow for rotation and the curved tip allows it to hit every spot and puts pressure on just the right places.

The rabbit ears on the front are perfectly placed and the strongest setting really is strong. It’s great to use with just the ears alone but with the internal shaft as well it works brilliantly.

The buttons/functions are easy to use and you don’t have to hold anything down to turn it on or off which means you have instant control. Due to the fact that the buttons light up, you don’t have to use it in a really bright room and can use it under a duvet if you like. It also makes it easier for other people to control, and despite the battery pack and buttons, the bottom section isn’t too heavy, so you can put it on your favourite settings and not have to hold it once it’s in.


The only improvement I can think of for this toy is to maybe have a thrust function, however, this is a function that is found on most larger rabbits and electric dildos.

Final thoughts

This product is a great first vibe, for people new to sex toys or for people who want quick, solo fun. This is one of my favourite products, it’s small, light, comfortable to use, and never fails to work for me, so it gets 5 stars.


DISCLAIMER: As always, the opinions expressed in this post are my personal opinions and are not meant to cause harm or offence to the mentioned companies or products, or those who enjoy using them.

*All images from http://www.annsummers.com



Endless Love Silicone Pink Vibrator

This is the post excerpt.

✯✯ (2 stars)


Name: Endless Love Silicone Pink Vibrator

Retail: £30

Shop/Brand: Ann Summers

Type: Vibrator

Properties: Waterproof, internal and external use, 6 pulsation patterns and 2 speeds/intensities

First impressions

If there’s one thing I love about this vibe it’s the feel, the soft silicone feels wonderful to the touch and the shaft is very well moulded. It curves very nicely and feels natural, and looks as if it’d hook round a fit on a g-spot perfectly.

I had high hopes for this product but the first use disappointed me. Usually, the first use of any vibe is intense due to the new toy, and the new batteries (which it doesn’t come with, by the way); and this was intense. However, the vibrations, though powerful were a bit too generalised for me. As mentioned in other blog posts, my relationship to love eggs is a complicated one, and the thing I dislike most about then is that because of the shape the vibrations aren’t targeted enough to produce any response other than a general buzz-which can sometimes tickle more than cause pleasure/stimulation. I felt very much the same with this vibrator, the shape is great but it’s not targeted enough to use alone unless you’re very sensitive-in which case you might find the vibrations a bit ‘sharp’ (for want of a better word).

Major Drawback

I can’t give a second attempt/impression for this toy as I haven’t touched it again. I gave it a brief second chance as a clit stim but it didn’t do much that way either (again, too large/not directional enough). The major issue with this is that it became very hot, to the point that I was concerned about the wiring inside. Under the curve, it became exceedingly hot after less than 5 minutes of use. I checked the packing and as always with battery-powered toys, it suggests turning it off if it overheats, but I’ve never had a toy get that hot before. I will, of course, check with Ann Summers and other reviews and see whether this is an issue or whether I picked up a faulty one and update accordingly.

[UPDATE: I took the toy back and at Ann Summers they agreed that it was getting too hot. They offered to replace it or for me to get something else of the same value]

Final thoughts

Overall, I must give it two stars, as a product it just wasn’t right for me and I doubt I’ll use it again, even if mine is faulty I probably wouldn’t use a replacement as it wasn’t directional enough and even became a little irritating after a while. However, I get the impression that with a directional clit stim such as an Ann Summers bullet at the same time, it could achieve some results, but as a standalone toy, I was less than impressed.



DISCLAIMER: As always, the opinions expressed in this post are my personal opinions and are not meant to cause harm or offence to the mentioned companies or products, or those who enjoy using them.

*All images from http://www.annsummers.com

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